Not Lost After All: A Story About Presence

I thought he was gone.

Benny Butts, my 128-pound Velcro dog, my shadow, my steady companion—I turned around and he wasn’t there. And for a moment, the world fell quiet in the wrong kind of way.

It was strange because I’d only stepped into the She Shack for a few seconds. But panic doesn’t care about timelines—it races ahead of logic and fills in the blanks with fear. I posted on the Foresthill community board. I rushed through the neighborhood calling his name. My heart thudded. My thoughts blurred. I started backtracking in my mind, trying to grasp how this gentle barge of a dog could disappear so quickly.

And then it hit me.

The She Shack.

Of course.

I ran home, flung open the door… and there he was. Safe. Warm. Probably wondering what all the fuss was about.

In the wave of relief that washed over me, something deeper stirred—a whisper of an old feeling. It took me a moment to name it.

Abandonment.

That aching, unspoken fear of being left… or left behind. It’s wild, isn’t it? How a moment of perceived loss—of a dog, no less—can unearth something buried in our bones. And yet, there it was. Grief. Relief. Tears. All tangled up in a moment that ended with a wagging tail and a familiar face.

I share this not just as a funny story (though I can laugh about it now), but as a quiet reminder that sometimes what we fear is lost… is simply waiting to be found. Sometimes, we don’t need to search the whole neighborhood. We just need to return to the place we were last held.

And perhaps even more importantly—sometimes what we think is abandonment… is just a pause. A silence that calls us to listen more deeply.

To those of you carrying silent fears or echoes of old goodbyes, may this story be a gentle reminder:

You’re not lost.

You’re not forgotten.

You’re not alone.

Whether it’s a beloved dog in a shed or a piece of yourself that’s been tucked away in a quiet place—you may just find what you’re looking for right where you left it.

Back to Eden. Paradise Not Lost.

And apparently… neither is Benny Butts.